SOAPBOX: The delicious science of coffee that's "just right"
THERE are two kinds of people in this world.
People who like their coffee served at a delightful and drinkable 65 degrees, and people who like it at a "oh my God, my face is melting off" kind of temperature.
Apparently there are also people who don't drink coffee, but I have a theory they are mythical creatures that don't actually exist.
For heaven's sake, why do you want your coffee to be so hot it singes your eyebrows and blisters your lips?
Are you all masochists?
It's an affliction that can strike even the seemingly most reasonable of folk.
Sorry Mum, but I'm pointing my milk thermometer at you.
You're the best Mum in the world - so long as I never have the misfortune of being your barista.
I've seen you, coffee clutched in your hands, pursing your lips in displeasure, as the first sip of your expertly crafted flat white fails to bring the stinging burn you so obviously and inexplicably desire.
Then that awkward exchange between you and the barista, where the poor sod is forced to put aside their own principles and self respect.
You want it scalding hot - but heaven forbid the milk tastes burnt.
Well, you can't have it both ways.
Once you heat milk over a certain temperature, a reaction takes place and it gets bitter.
It's like you want to twist the rules of chemistry to suit your similarly twisted tastebuds.
Even worse though, are those people who don't care that it tastes burnt. Barbarians.
Ahh, there's nothing like a nice cup of coffee to get my blood boiling.