Tenant's hilarious response to noisy neighbours

AS WE all know, there's no greater way to measure sass than the art of crafting passive-aggressive notes for your noisy neighbours.

But this lengthy rant - oddly poetic in its descriptive stance - really takes the cake.

The sarcastic note was left by a Canadian tenant who explained they were kept up by their noisy neighbours.

Sleepless and irritated, they chose to get back at the noisemakers with a vivid portrayal of their loud, drunken conversations - which sounds like a scene from a terrible American high school movie.

The angry tenant gives them the Hills-esque names Kristin, Becky, Chad, Jen, Tracy and Megan - and proceeds to dish out the insults.

"Being loud in your own apartment is one thing, but letting Becky stumble around slur-yelling in the hallway at 3.30am is another," the note starts.

"I understand Kristin is excited about her new stewardess job at Air Canada, but she needs to tone it the f*ck down because your neighbours are trying to sleep ... and we all know WestJet is better anyway."

Seriously, the whole thing reads like it’s from a bad reality TV drama like The Hills
Seriously, the whole thing reads like it’s from a bad reality TV drama like The Hills Supplied

It goes on to dismiss the tragic breakup of "Chad" and "Jen", which was evidently a topic of loud and intoxicated conversation.

"While it's super tragic that Jen found out Chad has been cheating on her, and only a few days after they did that couple's sleigh ride in Canmore, Christ knows that nobody wants to hear about it at 4 in the morning," writes the scathing tenant.

"BTW Jen, the only reason Chad took you on that sleigh ride is because he found a cheap Groupon."
Ouch.

"You must not have heard the battlecry I let out at exactly 3:37," the note continues.

"It was something to the effect of, 'SHUT THE F*CK UP!'

"No, you didn't let up until 4:02, because Jen's aggressive cry-yelling didn't let up until 4:02, at which point she was ushered into the back of a yellow checkered cab with fresh puke starting to crust on her new Artizya flannel."

The writer ultimately concludes that the hallway is a "ridiculous" place to hang out late at night, advising with

"lukewarm regards" that they should all move out immediately.

The post has gone viral, with over 50,000 upvotes on Reddit and thousands of sympathetic comments in less than 24 hours.

Obviously, it's a bit exaggerated, but it clearly shows that angry humour is the best kind of humour.

The original poster followed up saying a bunch of their fellow neighbours wrote their own "f*ck yous" on the letter, but says the cleaner took it down.

Which is a shame, because we really want to know how if "Jen" and "Chad" patched things up in the end.

There’s nothing like drunk, noisy teenagers to ruin a good night’s sleep.
There’s nothing like drunk, noisy teenagers to ruin a good night’s sleep. Reddit
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