Solving sexual incompatibility through communication

QUESTION

I keep getting these emails about books and DVDs that will help me to get my girlfriend to do anything in bed and I mostly ignore them, but it does make me wonder, are there tricks and tips to getting my girlfriend to do the things I want in the bedroom?

 

ANSWER

The first thing you need to do is stop your thought process that there are tricks and secrets to negotiating your love life.

Second, if you know your girlfriend is conservative sexually, avoid using words like kinky!

Getting anyone to do something they're not entirely sure of, especially naked, requires a sensitive and considered approach.

And finally, you need to stop paying any attention to online spam and blanket marketing and advertising.

So here's what you should do instead: be clear in your own mind first about what it is you would like to do sexually with your girlfriend.

No point in having the conversation if you're not able to be clear.

Confusing her won't get you what you want either.

If you have things you'd like to try that range from mild to wild, obviously start with the milder suggestions.

Send her a creative, sexy invitation to meet you somewhere.

Spend the night outside your regular bedroom to "set a new scene".

Buy her something sexy or pretty to wear.

Create sexual alter egos for you both and go out pretending to be other people who fall into bed with one another like strangers.

Make it fun and appealing and all the while tell her how sexy and amazing you think she is so her mind doesn't stray back to anxieties.

 

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