THE handsome, smooth-headed man in the centre of The Bachelor is not perfect husband material.
I suspect he is actually a supervillain - the kind that imprisons women against their will, manipulates them and then pits them against one another.
Either that or he's a nice-looking dude chosen by Channel 10 to be part of a reality television show.
I'm leaning towards the first one.
In the show, an assortment of woman sit and stand around gushing about how "sweet" this Blake Garvey character is.
"Oh he took me on a helicopter ride, then there was an orchestra on the beach and tiny songbirds landed on his shoulder and tweeted gentle lullabies," they coo.
But for some reason, he dumps them back into the house after kissing them.
Then on to the next!
Now it's time for the group date - the Lord of the Flies type scenario where we pit half a dozen women against one another.
With any luck, they will tear out each other's throats.
"Wasn't it wonderful the way he talked to some of us but not others?
"Why didn't he talk to me? When's my turn to hear his voice?"
To those of us gawking at the television set, the women inside the electric box really sell the idea that these strings are all being pulled by Garvey.
If he set up the "adrenaline-charged" lap around the racetrack, chartered the helicopters and arranged the romantic meal- rather than producers at Channel 10- then what else is he responsible for?
If we buy that he is this gentle, high-earning soul with a taste for elaborate dates, then by extension he's also the font of occasional cruelty to these women.
He is the one creating the rules that discards a few women each week once he tires of them.
Last night he tossed three women out of the house because they failed to "connect" with him.
When we buy into the fiction of it, he's a Lex Luthor-style character that enjoys sitting behind a wall of screens and manipulating the game.
Eccentric man with unlimited means has a group of women delivered to his home - which they can't easily escape - as he slowly whittles them down to the one he fancies.
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