'My MIL changed my baby's name while I was in recovery'
I remember when I had my first caesarean. It was our second child, and as I was wheeled off to recovery it was important for me to know my husband would stay with our baby no matter what.
He did that, and only that, which is not quite how things went down for one mum, who discovered something very sinister went down while she was still asleep.
The mum, who wrote in for help from Slate.com, says she has a two-month-old baby boy who both her and her husband had agreed would have 'Finley' as a middle name.
But while the mum was unconscious in recovery from her caesarean, her mother-in-law worked her magic.
"Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section," the woman wrote in her post.
"Keep in mind she lives a few states away, so this was all over the phone.
"She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would 'get mad, but get over it'.
"My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mum wanted. She thinks that 'Finlay' is more masculine than 'Finley'."
She says the older woman has "always been a manipulator" and clearly doesn't like her, but to think she has any right to dictate the name of her grandchild, takes the controlling MIL trope to a whole new level.
Yeah, you read that right. The husband, who is also very much at fault here, allowed his wife to believe her son's middle name was spelled 'Finley' when it was actually 'Finlay'.
And it seems the mother-in-law had tried to reveal her son's deception when she sent a Christmas present to the spelling she had it changed to.
"His mother even sent a Christmas gift to middle name 'Finlay', and when I made a comment to my husband he didn't even have the decency to tell me! He just let me keep believing for two months that our son's middle name was spelled Finley when it legally isn't!" said.
She says she only discovered this herself when she was filing away his birth certificate and social security card.
"He says he regretted it as soon as the card came and has been afraid to tell me," she wrote.
The woman, who is rightfully angry, has asked how best to broach this with her mother-in-law: "My husband is very much also at fault for doing this in the first place and we are working through that together, but I feel as though something needs to be said to my mother-in-law."
She said she has no interest in maintaining a positive relationship with her, but asked if she should say something, or if it should be left to her husband, or together even.
Writer and dad Carvell Wallace replied insisting the woman keep her distance: "If I were in your situation, I would not approach the offending in-law about this issue because I'd be afraid an actual fistfight would break out," he wrote.
And then he asked the question we're all thinking: "What in the entire f*k is up with your husband?"
Wallace pointed out that the father needs to figure out who he is co-parenting with and until then, he can't be trusted.
The big 'D-word' was even raised, saying the offence comes pretty close to divorce-worthy, which Wallace says he does not bring up lightly.
As we all are, Wallace says he's "mad just reading about this," and says the mother and her child deserve better and the father needs therapy. He added he doesn't think he would be able to talk to the mother-in-law if it were him, but suggested a rather firm warning along with, "I will remember it for a very long time".
Would this end in divorce in your family?
The woman said she will definitely be changing her son's name to reflect the spelling she had agreed on, but we're not sure we could ever spend family holidays together again.
This originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.