Khara met her ex-husband when she was just 15. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal
Khara met her ex-husband when she was just 15. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal

Mum knew she would leave partner before marrying him

WE don't like to acknowledge the stash of horrible relationship truths curled deep within us.

We can spend months - or even years pretending they don't exist until the weight of carrying them becomes impossible.  

For Khara, it was the fact that, even six months before the wedding, she knew she would one day leave her husband. 

"That's hard to put down on paper, because it makes me sound, well, cruel," the WA mum-of-two wrote on her blog.  

"But life and love isn't black and white - and I did love and adore him.  

"We were best friends, but in many ways, I also felt like his mother.  

"And yet I just kept going because at that age, I genuinely thought it was the right thing to do."

As the relationship continued to fail, Khara withdrew from everyday life. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal
As the relationship continued to fail, Khara withdrew from everyday life. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal

That was the approach Khara said she had to their entire relationship - since she met her future husband at age 15.   She was so young and quickly got caught up in the whirlwind romance.  

But as the couple moved to the city to start their lives together - Khara felt the doubts start to creep in.  

"Maybe this was how all grown-up relationships felt?" she questioned.  

"Maybe this is what marriage is all about, maybe the love develops and grows over time?  

"Maybe this is just how it feels to be with someone for the rest of your life?

Now Khara is remarried with two gorgeous sons. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal
Now Khara is remarried with two gorgeous sons. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal

"I questioned myself daily, even though I knew deep down, that wasn't how it was supposed to feel at all."  

As the realisation set in that she was in the wrong relationship - Khara didn't know where to turn.  

Now in her early 20s, most of her friends were still casually dating - no one was married, let alone contemplating the end.  

"From the outside looking in we appeared every bit the childhood sweethearts," she said.  

"But I was suffering inside. I felt stuck. I felt lost.  

"And each day was just about trying to survive."  

Finally, when Khara was 24 - she got the courage up to leave.  

Khara feels blessed to now have her two boys. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal
Khara feels blessed to now have her two boys. Source: Instagram/kharawilliamsreal

 "I felt a sadness so intense that it's still difficult to put into words," she said.  

"I felt I'd failed the marriage and was terrified of being judged as a result."  

But now looking back, remarried to a gorgeous husband with two beautiful boys, Khara is proud of herself.  

"I feel invigorated knowing that I have the courage to follow my heart, be true to myself and my own happiness," she said.  

"I think that's something so many women struggle with and, believe me, it didn't come to me easily.  

"It takes time. It took me more than two years to find the courage to leave my ex-husband and the sadness I experienced during that time of my life can still be felt, deep down."   

But despite that, she believes anyone feeling trapped needs to take the courage to change their situation.   

"Be true to you - yes, you will be judged, but there will be people there to support you on your journey… lean on them," she wisely advised.  

"And remember, you should never ever feel like you have to justify your decisions to anyone.  

"This is your path. The direction you choose to take it in is entirely up to you."     

This story originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished here with permission.

News Corp Australia

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