Bach’s humiliating rose ceremony
IN one of the most embarrassing rose ceremonies we've witnessed in recent times, one bachelor has been forced to choose a girl he really doesn't like while another goes rogue and loudly counts the amount of "f*cks" she gives.
American Jared hung his head in visible disappointment when he was backed into a corner and forced to give Leah his rose on Wednesday night's episode of Bachelor In Paradise.
He planned on giving it to Rachel, but when someone else swooped in on his girl, he was left with Leah and Sasha. He didn't know Sasha. And, just moments before the ceremony, he swore he would not give his rose to Leah.
But there's a price to pay if you want to remain on TV drinking frozen daiquiris.
Earlier in the night, Leah pulled American Jared aside and tried to seduce him. But her attempt failed.
"We've been in Paradise for a while now and it just hasn't progressed. And we're near the end of Paradise. And I don't think you and I could get to any place where we could continue something after the show," he told her. "So it makes me wonder if you should really stay specifically for me."
This firm smackdown was a clear instruction to please vacate the island immediately before you expose yourself to further embarrassment.
Not one for social cues, Leah tried to play it cool.
"I've been thinking differently the last few days. Either way, ball is in your court. Your decision," she shrugged, trying to flirt. "But, if you decide that you wanna keep me here, it's your decision. That's where I'm at. No pressure."
Leah refused to believe the decision had already been made.
"My rose is going to Rachel," Jared informed us bluntly.
But at the rose ceremony, a twist threw everything off balance. Canadian Thomas chose Rachel. And even though she likes American Jared, she accepted.
Jared was lost. He was left with Sasha and Leah. One chick he hasn't ever talked to and the other is nutso. After repeated calls from Osher to make a decision, Jared picked up his rose.
"Leah, Leah will you accept this rose?" he asked through gritted teeth.
He didn't want to choose Leah. He has no interest. But Leah didn't care. Thrilled, she skipped up to him and accepted the rose.
Jared made it clear he wasn't as jazzed.
"They hate each other," Sasha blurted to everyone. Part of Sasha's outrage was fuelled by the fact she liked Canadian Thomas and he chose Rachel.
But she did what any classy Bachelor contestant would do. She said goodbye to everyone calmly. And then bitched wildly in the Uber home.
"He's full of sh*t," Sasha said of Thomas.
And as the end credits rolled, she began doing a stocktake of how many "f*cks" she has to offer.
"I have a very limited about of f*cks to give. I am not sparing my f*cks on this sh*t," she spat.
I imagine American Jared has even less.