Resources minister Gary Gray has spread the word that Australia is ready to sell Uranium.
Mr Gray wants to capitalise on a global shortage currently being serviced by Russian supplies.
The sudden announcement came after Mr Gray mistook the Bolshoi Ballet for a Russian trade delegation.
New hikes to the price of power threaten to close hundreds of Queensland agricultural businesses.
The Queensland Farmers Federation claims the industry has seen a 200% price increase over the last 5 years.
Past attempts to lift the strain have failed, with deregulation being as popular as lycanthropy.
Sunshine Coast Mayor Mark Jamieson wants safety laws relaxed for the sake of small business.
Mr Jamieson hoped the state budget would announce such cuts to ease the red-tape burden.
When asked if he had a replacement scheme in mind we were handed a copy of "On The Origin Of Species"
Choice has slammed bottled water brands for selling what they say is effectively tap water with a logo.
Drinking tap water instead of bottled can save consumers around $2800 a year.
Bottled water drinkers, however, won't suffer from Government mind-control fluoride and the reptile conspiracy.
The IMF is preparing to admit that austerity was the wrong solution to Greece's economic problems.
Incorrect figures and bent rules meant the IMF bailout conditions trashed the Greek economy instead of fixing it.
The Coalition's austerity program remains intact after Joe Hockey claimed that economic devastation will always be better under a Coalition Government.
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