Why are these movies being made?

Eddie Murphy in a scene from his new film A Thousand Words.
Eddie Murphy in a scene from his new film A Thousand Words.

SO THE world's gone crazy over the new Prometheus trailer - and rightly so. It's awesome.

Ridley Scott's Alien prequel was released yesterday to overwhelming praise and adulation for what looks to be a pretty amazing and epic sci-fi action-adventure.

I know where I'll be on June 7: In an iMax theatre, wearing those 3D glasses, eating from a pottle of Tangy Fruits, watching Prometheus and grinning from ear-to-ear.

I may even borrow someone's pet Facehugger to take along, just for extra kicks.

But while Prometheus comes with what is quite possible one of the greatest shorts ever made for a film, I've recently come across three movie trailers that don't measure up quite so well.

So feast your eyes on this collection of laugh-free rubbish and tell me, why is anyone bothering to make these films?

Who even thought they were a good idea?

And is there a man alive who can stop Eddie Murphy's career sliding all the way into the toilet?

1. That's My Boy (August 9)

Sure, Adam Sandler has made two great films - the endlessly quotable Happy Gilmore from 1996, and 2002's Punch Drunk Love. But his few hits are smeared in laugh-free piles of poo, from Mr Deeds to The Hot Chick and Jack and Jill - a movie nominated for 12 Razzie Awards.

Somehow, these films all made money, so now we have That's My Boy, in which Sandler goes completely against type and plays an immature man-child forced to bond with his now fully-grown son, played by Andy Samberg.

Sandler appears to be channelling the drunk bastard child of Al Pacino and Keith Richards with a lisp in a staggeringly bad stereotype.

And how they got Susan Sarandon and Samberg - a usually reliable SNL star - to appear in this is anyone's guess.

 

2. A Thousand Words (straight to DVD)

A movie infamous for having a zero per cent rating on Rotten Tomatoes (that's 47 negative reviews out of 47), Eddie Murphy's A Thousand Words was originally filmed in 2008 but delayed until this year.

Its release was postponed with good reason - reviewers have called it "unfunny", "unoriginal" and "banal".

The Guardian called it the "worst reviewed movie ever made".

That's a shame for Kiwi actor Cliff Curtis - he plays a major role in it.

Yes, Kiwi actors need pay cheques just like the rest of us. But this?

 

3. The Three Stooges (June 28)

I saved the worst for last.

Sorry about that, but the world needs to know just how bad this film is going to be so they don't encourage The Farrelly Brothers to make any more of them.

No words can describe the horror of this slapstick remake of the 1930s comedy show about three blundering goofball friends who think poking their fingers in each other's eyes is funny.

Did I mention Snooki is in it? You have been warned.

 

See all of the trailers on YouTube.

Topics:  movies, trailers



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