News

Hilarious obituary marks man leaving "rickety old body"

Wayne and his "favourite son Buddy".
Wayne and his "favourite son Buddy". Wayne Neal | Facebook

AN obituary on the Victoria Advocate is gaining momentum for being the best obit ever.

Wayne Neal from Lolita, Texas was 74 when he died on September 11, 2016.  

And according to his obituary he was an "ornery ole bastard" who had a passion for scotch, "bragging about all his treasures on Facebook" and his "favourite son Buddy" is actually his dog.  

Grab the tissues because this obituary will make you cry - tears of laughter.  

"Wayne Neal has exited his rickety old body, having lived twice as long as he expected and way longer then he deserved.  

"...He often wished in his later years that he had not treated his body like a Tavern.

"Wayne never met a man he didn't want to Indian leg wrestle, or play mercy with. Mainly because he was an ornery ole bastard.

"He was a modest man who very seldom bragged about all of his treasures on Facebook. By the way, who the hell taught him about Facebook?

"He was considered the best concrete contractor in all of Texas, and if you ever doubted him, you could ask anyone that endured the hours of one more and we will call it a night at Wayne's Hurricane Bar.

"Proceeded in death by his wife Carolyn (mainly because she had enough of his shenanigans), son Christopher Wayne Neal, mother Irene, father Harold, brother Jim, and sister Candy.

"He is survived by his favorite son Buddy and another kid, some grandchildren, a few more great grandchildren, a trilogy of brothers, and one sister.

"He had a passion for old cars, scotch, his construction company, scotch, travel, and oh yeah scotch. Did we mention scotch?

"He will be missed by many and remembered by all who knew him."

When asked in the comments if Wayne helped write his own obit, son Eric said: "Wayne made the story, I just put it on paper."   

"This is the best obit I have ever read! Wish I would've known him," Tammie Newman Nichols said.  

"Rest in peace Howard Neal, I didn't know you but I would like to know if the writer is for hire," said Domingo Marmolejo.  

"One of the better obits I have ever read. Mr. Neal sounds like he had a great life and will be missed and remembered by many," Jacqueline Hubbard said.  

"This is the most amazing Obituary. I really hope mine is written just like this, cause well, that's my life," said Terra Daemona. 

Topics:  obituaries


Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

MS sufferer pins hopes on Russian stem cell treatment

Barry and Sue Potts are fundraising to pay for her $50,000 treatment for MS.

Couple fundraising for what's hoped will be a life-changing event

Four men have now been charged with drug offences

Up to a kilogram of cocaine and cash has been seized by police in a series of dramatic drug raids across Ballina and Byron Bay.

Four men have been charged with drug offences after arrests

Local Partners

It's time to get your shorts on the big screen

ENTRIES for Flickerfest 2017 and Byron All Shorts are now open

Burns Point: The blessings of filming a movie in Ballina

DRAMA: Actors Ron Kelly, John McNeill and Brad McMurray on a scene of Burns Point, filmed near Ballina.

Chris Blackburn talks about his feature film Burns Point

MS sufferer pins hopes on Russian stem cell treatment

Barry and Sue Potts are fundraising to pay for her $50,000 treatment for MS.

Couple fundraising for what's hoped will be a life-changing event

Four men have now been charged with drug offences

Up to a kilogram of cocaine and cash has been seized by police in a series of dramatic drug raids across Ballina and Byron Bay.

Four men have been charged with drug offences after arrests

Are government staffers talking Wentworth Park sale?

Greyhounds race at the Wentworth Park ahead of the industry's July 2017 shutdown.

No answer on whether government staff discussed Wentworth Parl sale

Justice delayed is justice denied in NSW courts

Court backlogs trigger push for break and enter law change

Communication breakdown in NSW fishing reforms

State-wide commercial fishing industry reforms have left fishers confused about their futures.

Non-English speaking fishers confused at industry-wide reforms

Classic car auction draws buyers from US, Dubai

"He wants everyone to enjoy the cars, the collection got too big'

What's on the small screen this week

Jessica Marais in a scene from the TV series The Wrong Girl.

A NEW romantic comedy debuts while footy codes ramp up for finals.

Airbourne talk drop bears, beer and taxes

Airbourne have a new album coming out and a new tour on the way.  Photo Contributed

Airbourne release album for the aussie battler

Pippa Middleton had 3000 private photos stolen

Author Pippa Middleton

Author's account hacked to access 3000 private photos

Gruen star discovers the body's limits in new hit TV show

Todd Sampson tries out MMA fighting during TV series BodyHack.

Gruen star pushes the limits in new TV series

Deftones return to Australia with string of dates

Deftones are back in town. Photo Contributed

World renowned nu-metal pioneers return

How the Gruen guy's t-shirts took on a life of their own

Documentary filmmaker and Gruen panellist Todd Sampson.

What started out as simple workwear has become a trademark

UPDATE: Former rodeo champ's sale rained out, now back on

Larkhill local Ken Consiglio is having an auction of most of the things on his property.

'People kept showing up and we had to turn them away'

Couple build their own 'tiny house' for $45k

Holly Bowen and Oli Bucher built their "tiny house" themselves, only hiring a plumber and an electrician. Photo/supplied

The house, which is built on a trailer and can be towed.

Sunshine Beach property breaks real estate record

The property overlooks Sunshine Beach, as the backyard lawn meets the sand.

Sunshine Beach mansion sale smashes real estate record

SOLD: Historic hotel finds new owner

Post Office Hotel Grafton

Photo Adam Hourigan / The Daily Examiner

Pub in new hands and heading in a brand new direction

Peppers Airlie Beach put on the market

ON THE MARKET: Peppers Airlie Beach is being for recievership sale by CBRE Hotels and PRD Nationwide Airlie Beach.

Peppers Airlie Beach is being offered for sale.

3500 jobs on the way with new $950 million resort

Residential, tourist, community, and open space on Hummock Hill Island.

PROPERTY developers plan to begin construction next year.